Tuesday, November 1, 2022

some spare words about SHUX 2022

This was originally sent out as the body of a SU&SD Donor Newsletter - I've cross-posted it here because I wanted to gush about this incredible convention to whoever wants to listen!

Tom: Thank you! Really, thank you. If you were at SHUX, you contributed to the most wonderful, affirming, powerful thing in a nearly 5,000 mile radius from my current location - which is quite the feat as I live about 5,000 seconds from a place that makes the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten.
 
I’d like to use this newsletter to share some highlights.
 
First, the games, and the people that played them. We walked past a table playing Panic on Wall Street which Quinns insisted I first spectate, and then have a go at rolling ‘The Dice That Determines The Stock Market’. I’ve never seen a table of people go from ecstatic to crestfallen so quickly as I personally tanked everyone’s bank balance. Apparently, those dice have sides that make the numbers get bigger? I somehow managed to roll in such a way that every number got smaller. I think people might have been legitimately angry.
 
There was a delightful moment where the entire hall erupted into various cheers and applause - the team presumed it was a proposal but, no, some folks just finished a marathon game of TI. It was heartwarming to see the Blood on the Clocktower folks so busy all weekend - a continual drip of excitable social deduction fans giving that huge tome a little try. I’m gutted I only got to experience a single round of Jonathan Ying’s excellent ‘Spot-It-Royale’ (or ‘Dobble-Royale’) - watching 20 or so strangers bond over the need to win.


It’s just charming to be at a convention where people are excited about games, but they’re just as excited about people. We did a signing on the second day and I’d never signed anything before in my life before that point, so scribbling my signature on hundreds of things in a row was quite the introduction. What I remember, though, was a group of people who came up to the table, nattering like old friends. I’d asked where they’d all come from, and they told me they’d all travelled from different parts of the states. ‘Oh, so you’re used to travelling to meet up, then?’ ‘No! We just met yesterday!’ These people looked like they’d known each other for 24 years, not 24 hours! It felt special - like proof that people at SHUX were so trusting that anyone would help them have a good time. Even when not sitting down to actually play a game, people were excited to tell you about them - sharing stories and highlights, giving you the scoop on what might secretly be the next best thing, and pointing excitedly at what they’re desperate to try.

 

That attitude extended into the live shows, where everyone felt like they were there to enjoy themselves. Our shows were at many points disorganised, chaotic things that fell apart in all kinds of exciting new ways - but having an audience that truly has your back is absolutely essential for someone like me, who is generally quite uncomfortable clambering onto a stage (more on that in just a moment). I felt at ease for the first time during a live show, and that’s no mean feat - having a crowd of people with hearty, unique laughter for any one of our Quite Bad Jokes made being on that stage an absolute joy. They made me comfortable enough to ‘be myself’ onstage rather than try and ‘Go Presenter Mode’ as I often do, so, thank you.

 

And an even bigger thank you to the volunteers and expo hall folks who made the weekend actually possible! It warms my soul that people would volunteer so readily to do something that serves only to increase such daft joy; and I hope that people treated you well (I trust they did!) And I’m glad those folks meant we got to do a convention safely, how we felt it should be done. Yes, masks significantly change the ‘vibe’ of a convention in a tangible, if hard to entirely pin down way; but we felt it was the right thing to do. Every single person not only obliged us, they kept the ‘vibe’ as buoyant and energetic as if the masks weren’t there in the first place, they managed to create a convention that felt so normal - better than normal - in abnormal times. Thank you.




There was this great volume of pride that blossomed in that final show, that closing ceremony. Tears were not so much jerked as they were yanked by that wall of post-it notes where people scrawled their memories of the weekend. It’s all packed down in an instant - it’s a controlled explosion of cardboard that vanishes as soon as it arrives. And I got back home and I tried to explain to my partner about the whole thing and I just dissolved into tears, instantly. I couldn’t get words out about how much enthusiasm there was, because all of the language I could use was too saccharine, too true, too overwhelmingly positive to be taken seriously. But I was so serious - I was so jetlagged, I was so delirious, I slept for upwards of 16 hours solid afterwards! But I got every single emotion out of me in that one moment where I cry-laughed through an explanation of the most chaotic and excitable 72 hours of my life. Thank you.

 

It reframes your purpose in this hobby, both professionally and personally. Seeing that many people bonding over silly cardboard reminds me how much I owe to silly cardboard - how much my social anxiety and nerves are quelled by the presence of that silly cardboard, how silly cardboard has created or reinforced some of my most treasured memories and wonderful friends.



I don’t want to clutter a space that’s intended to show off the work and feelings of others with my own personal guff - especially as the work of said others trumps any small thing we do for the show. But I will, of course, because it leads to more thank yous.

 

I’m really, really nervous. I’ve been told, lots, that it doesn’t come across that way - especially not in the highly edited videos that I put out for SU&SD, but it’s something I’ve come to really recognise about myself in recent years. ‘Nervousness’ or ‘Social Anxiety’ or whatever else you might want to call it retrospectively explains a lot of my odd behaviours and currently explains a lot of little tics and mannerisms that I won’t point out for fear of being noticed.

 

I once had to give a speech after receiving a little miniature award for a piece I wrote as a student. I choked out an ‘I’m bad at this’ and then immediately left the stage because I thought I was going to hurl. More recently, Quinns introduced me to one of his friends, a friend who seemed cool, and I spent my first 10-20 words of my introduction to them on babble, noise, not-words because I couldn’t hang on to what I was meant to do in a social environment. And at PAX Unplugged, faced with the prospect of doing my first live show in front of so many people - I was nervous to the point of being physically quite unwell. Before the show, I felt like I was having an actual fever, shaking, pale, queasy, yuck.

 

SHUX solved all that, and you can visibly see it onstage! I’m cosier than I’ve ever been before when

presented with such kindly, helpful humans. But I’m now back, in a weird way, to being nervous about it all again. You’d think that’s silly! SHUX was great, I was fine, it was all good, NIGHTMARE SLAIN and all - but I think I only got to that state of ‘un-nerves’ because every single person caught me at any possible fall.



SHUX reminded me not just that you people were there to catch you and help you and chill you out and stab imposter syndrome right through its barbarous heart, but also that outside of the live events, everyone has caught me digitally. Those first videos of mine were quite bad, my videos still make me cringe - but everyone being so eager to enjoy themselves, so invested in the channel, in boardgames… it creates this bubble of support that makes me feel deeply fortunate to be where I am - truly lucky, blessed, undeserving of such positivity. Seriously, thank you.

 

So what next? SHUX has filled me with a hell of a lot of energy. By the time this goes out to you folks, both the Stefan Feld City Collection video will be out, alongside a Turncoats review the week after. I think these videos are a good representation of how I want the site to continue over the next few months - a bit of that old, stable, good-time SU&SD feeling, and a bit of weird experimentation. Because I know that the folks in the comments, the folks in Vancouver, the folks who keep this site running, will catch me. Thank you.

­

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

some spare words about Gloomwood

Any work in this space is an exercise in trying to get me to write more. These are written in an hour maximum and are a bit messy round the edges in a deliberate attempt to make me stop trying too much. Maybe you can enjoy bits ?? I don't know. Thanks! Also there are spoilers.


Gloomwood creaks. If there’s one sound effect that permeates through this game’s entire ethos it’s creaking; floorboards moaning underfoot, doors that screech from their hinges, a lift that lets out a tremendous, bellowing groan. It goes a long way to sell a world that’s, to put it lightly, not in great shape, aching from what its as-yet-unknown antagonists have been up to. The creaking continues into other objects, too; there’s sputtering, dribbling sconces, guards whose wheezing coughs give away their imminent end, mechanisms that are reluctant to start and eager to stop. There’s an atmosphere here, to put it lightly; an atmosphere that flows freely from a rigorous understanding of the first-person perspective, from a truly decadent suite of sounds, from making every shadow into a chasm for light, and from a complete and utter disregard for how games ought to look.

Okay, so, New Blood’s low-poly, “boomer-shooter” approach to visual design is hilarious from certain angles - and undoubtedly ripe to be picked apart by those twitter accounts you see complaining that TLOU2’s blood doesn’t smear enough when you roll around in it like an animal. Obviously, I do not care about ‘The Graphics’ and nobody should care about ‘The Graphics’ - it limits our ability to truly let games get under our skin to care about ‘The Graphics’! But some people, bless their hearts, really care about… ‘The Graphics’. Stop caring about ‘The Graphics’ and embrace… the vibes.



Everything you do in Gloomwood is slow. Really slow. R e a l l y s l o w. You have to wait for Guards to finish long, languid patrol patterns while hiding in nooks and crannies, you have to press your ears up to doors to check the coast is clear for a cautious trudge across a hallway, you have to sluggishly pull yourself up long chains and ropes to slink across darkened rooftops. This caution is brought on by a whole number of factors - but most obviously it comes from the game’s approach to Souls-Style saving. There are phonograph save points scattered throughout the levels - they don’t replenish your health and reset enemies like your bonfires, sites of grace, and "goblin lanterns" do - but they serve as bookmarks interleaved between long stretches of cautious onward exploration. The levels loop back on themselves like in Souls games - expecting you to start small and gradually creep outwards, unlocking new scraps of territory to master until you have the lay of the complex, compact whole.

Why is this pace relevant? Precisely because it lets you slow-simmer into the tone - it forces you to care about environment, sound, pacing and lighting so that the image astounds even if the individual aspects are ripped straight from the 90s. Sluggishly poking your way through these dense knots of space means that you stay enough to let the game imprint itself into your brain beyond its first impressions - so you can latch onto the image . The mellow glow of a lighthouse lantern sweeping its way across a weary dock, or a skulking approach to a cliffside hut with its spluttering owner displacing the floorboards one step at a time.



It’s these images that let the game work its way into your imagination - but they just would not function if this title didn’t spend so much of its attention on the important stuff, on the immersive stuff. A lot of the game is spent in a cannery in which guts (fish? human? who’s to say?) coat much of the earliest floor you’ll slop your way across - and had the game rendered some exquisite lower intestine I might have found the section typical, ogglable, and forgettable. But by lavishing you in squelches, hiding the textures under heavy blotches of darkness, keeping you crawling through the level… your very own great organ - the brain, not the lower intestine - produces an image transcendent of ‘The Graphics’. The game burrows into your imagination and makes a little home there.

There’s more to this trick, of course. The way that your inventory is a physical, tactile object that you pull items from - out of the ‘menu world’ and into the ‘real world’. The way that NPCs travel just a little further than you think when investigating a distraction, or each surface having its own audible effect on your footsteps reminding you that you’re here. But all this only exists, only sings, because the game looks like it does - drenched in black and polygons askew.

The magic trick is creating a game that feels like it’s from the 90s - but the trompe l’oeil of its visual design is just a small brick in a larger edifice - it’s the façade that enables this game to feel like those games felt…. But not really. It feels better, but only because the care is placed where it need to be in order to let this world run riot in your very own imaginative sandpit.




Monday, June 13, 2022

some spare words about Hardspace: Shipbreaker

 Any work in this space is an exercise in trying to get me to write more. These are written in an hour maximum and are a bit messy round the edges in a deliberate attempt to make me stop trying too much. Maybe you can enjoy bits ?? I don't know. Thanks! Also there are spoilers.

In January of 2022, a disastrous Fox News interview stymied (read: halted) the exponential growth of the r/antiwork subreddit. During the pandemic, in the rare gaps of reflection afforded in opaque times, the occasional class warrior in all people stewed in the digital percolator. Something about the unchanging four walls of a hasty home office allowed labour to materialize as an object to be examined, poked, prodded, appraised; an outlet was needed for discussion of this immutable part of life that seemingly never satisfies. Antiwork initially rallied against pointless labour, it championed adequate compensation for the sale of body and brain, it committed itself to the pursuit of a healthy work-life-balance. It represented a level of class-consciousness and solidarity that the platform previously showed little empathy towards.


January was where two conflicting ideologies brewing in the forum came to a head - that of fair work, and that of no work. The latter fermented from a simple start  - the malt of post-scarcity sprouting vague tendrils that consume discussion and spit out idealism, ‘reckons’. What movement existed was struck through with a misrepresentation that devoured itself; culminating in the interview where a moderator of the space gets somehow dunked on by Jesse Watters. Utterly defenceless, the moderator can’t place the ideology they’re supposed to represent, and Watters clumsily shears the philosophy through its transept into two uneven halves.


The clip is shared. The community is aghast. Class solidarity flips to class conflict. It happens.



Get this; Shipbreaking is satisfying. Shedding great plates of titanium, prising back each layer to delicately clip the innards from their moorings. This comes with knowledge - you learn layouts and know precisely where to punch a perfect hole to jettison cargo. You develop process and a flair from execution where you drift, clip, neaten, correct. Each new task comes with an implied moment of sizing up your quarry, a hands-on-hips examining of the stretch of plates and pipes before kneading out the stiffer knots of metal. In countless reviews and critiques, there is talk of the bones or ribs of the ships that you slip through in a dance of reverse-repair; a tiny little vet making incisions in a metal mammal. It is a joyous game, and it is joyous labour.


This is the magic trick of Hardspace: Shipbreaker; highlighting labour as a worthwhile, entertaining, and fulfilling pursuit. It rapidfire simulates the mastering of a craft, the satisfaction of a ‘job well done’; but encases that spark in an interior system that’s outwardly oppressive. That doesn’t make much sense, but I'm trying to get this written fast - and besides, it’s very easy to pretend it does make sense. If you can simply imagine the words fitting together better it’ll save both of us a lot of time and me a lot of effort. Thx xx


Here’s the antiwork comparison. Shipbreaker illustrates the “worthwhile” of labour: within or extant from the system of capital it exists in. It sits firmly on the former of the two camps - “let us work in a meaningful way within the bounds of the human rather than the financial”. The game knows Shipbreaking is an enjoyable art, its characters share a fondness for the job; it should be done… but not like this.



There’s a core here that’s clumsily explored in the capital N “Narrative” of the game. The cast of characters does slide maybe too far into black-and-white territory - they certainly contain depth and dimensions but socket into a narrative that’s awful obvious. Take Weaver! A yearning for the joy of a job he’s no longer fit to do is displaced by a management of it; a care and affection for people that honeys his voice in fatherly advice. His purpose in the narrative is ultimately just to become straightforwardly, linearly radicalised. We’ve all been there. Hal, the company representative, is a funhouse mirror of every bad boss you’ve ever had. His purpose is to be the blank-slate baddie who instead gets linearly, more obviously toxic - and whilst the twists of the knife and outward cruelty are effectively cartoon-villainish, they’re never unexpected.


And while we’re here, the implication of a winding path of repetitive debt leading to immortal slavery is something that’s not leant into or made obvious enough. That’s a silly sentence, so we’ll unpack it. The corporation the player works for, LYNX, allows its labourers to make huge profits by taking on the dangerous task of shipbreaking - but a ferocious sign-on-fee means that the player has to work, and probably die, before they’ll ever pay it off. Dying sounds bad for everyone - so luckily LYNX has a solution - the Everwork program - providing memory-complete spares of employees the moment they perish. The price? More money than you’ll have earned in every shift prior, nudging you further into that big hole we call debt. Now that idea has ballooned like a children’s bouncy castle, we can play in its imaginative space.


LYNX is effectively running a house-always-wins form of labour where credits earned are neatly offset by predictable mistakes and extortionate supply costs - and the Everwork program being inescapable means employees are essentially locked into eternal, ageless servitude. They’ve manufactured labour that can never fail, and a workforce that can never escape meaningfully. You’re an immortal slave and work is your hell. Maybe Shipbreaker is just entrusting players to put these pieces together, but I’ve not heard anyone talking about this implication. Evidently it’s just because I have a massive, massive brain, and a colossal head to keep it in.



Regardless of these flaws, this core is molten-hot and mature for the medium; it knows what it is doing. It’s a game that’s meaningfully in conversation with gaming. It’s in conversation with the dopamine drip, the progression loop, the mastery, the numbers going up. Maybe I'm being silly but I love the word ‘credit’ here for the game’s currency - acting as either generic spacebucks or a signifier of merit and ownership. And that bottomless pile of debt forces you to look for progression elsewhere - namely in slowly reassembling a ship that’s part-hobby and part ticket outta this dump. A critical plot-point that pinches it away from you playfully (and emotionally) manipulates those linear strings of upward momentum we’re so used to having in basically all of games. When you realise that the aforementioned credits aren’t a meaningful metric, you can focus on the work outside of its capital - and I think that a lot of people who doggedly stick to credits as a yardstick for improvement report the game not quite working for them. LYNX Tokens, the other form of currency, reek of scrip - the scent of which twins with the banjo-laden soundtrack to drag the game’s redolent connections to Americana, prospecting, and ‘gold in them hills’. Lovely stuff.


But by virtue of the media and our preconceptions of it, what the game is telling you about work can’t ever truly sing in a way that isn’t abstract. It is unavoidable that the player can stop playing; breaking that delicate illusion in two. The player is free to interpret this work as joy, as stepping away from the machine allows them to pocket the tactility and satisfaction into chunks, dinky squares of chocolate to savour rather than an unending slab whose sweetness is dulled by monotony.



I’ve not worked true “hard labour” jobs, but I’ve regrettably done an awful lot for the service industry. These are jobs where your fingers get all flaky and raw from dishes and your bones ossify from standing rather than, you know, imminent death from several hundred tonnes of flying space debris. But there’s a flicker of comparison in there. The feeling of an early-morning-opening or a late-night-close comes with a rooted satisfaction, running a ‘tight ship’ (rather than destroying one, I suppose) and having an ownership of a space that you’ve perfected, only to have it twisted by one shift too many, one hour when you didn’t need one, one overseer who hoovers up… credit…


So why is Antiwork important to this story? I’m not sure. I forgot. I think I wanted to illustrate some larger connection between the inherent value of work and the CAPITALISATION that’s turned the process of extracting that personal value sour. Antiwork is precisely at odds with itself in a way that Shipbreaker illustrates; ‘work can be fun! Not like this…’. As the game closes out with a successful unionisation effort and an understanding that the player may want to continue working the shipyard, you understand that play and work can be twinned in a way that’s healthy. They keep the Everwork program, you can work forever; it’s the choice that’s important. “You didn’t waste your time” - the game is keen to remind you - “this work is good”.


There’s a line from the ferociously punitive 6/10 IGN review that I really like: “By the end of its campaign, the repetitive objectives and intentionally slow progression made shipbreaking start to feel like exactly what it’s simulating: hard labor.” Goodness, isn’t this juicy. Shipbreaker, and this review of it, work in tandem to blur the line between games about work and games that are work. It’s fascinating to me because it ties repetition and boredom to labour. Beforehand, the satisfaction flowed thick-and-fast and work felt like it wasn’t. It illustrates the former side of the antiwork spectra. But doubtless, for our noble reviewer - with deadlines and critical burdens to worry about - the game slipped from fun to job. And then Shipbreaker wraps back round on itself: its point is made and its critical pearls ripe for plucking. If I were paid to write this I would enjoy the game less, which is the whole point. ‘Aint that something weird.


I don’t really have a conclusion, I’m not a very good writer yet. But you are very capable, what with your huge, succulent brain with all its slippery thoughts and unctuous feelings. There’s “gold in them hills”. Play Shipbreaker and let its illustrations and imperfections sit in your brain for reference or action. It is an achievement, a broken disco-ball of interpretation where a light, caught at the right angle, dazzles.


some spare words about Arcs

  Hello! So I just wrapped potentially my favorite Arcs campaign that I've played to date. It was one of the closest finishes I've e...